Wow. It amazes me how some people claim to change, but never truly do. Why is it that when someone is your ex, after a while you begin to forget why you are apart? I know I haven't been the best girlfriend to a lot of people I've dated, some reasons explained in my other blog, but for some reason my exes keep coming back to me. I think it is merely they want something familiar, and are looking to get laid, but I've noticed I can't seem to give in to their wants as easily anymore.
You see, before I had an icy cold exterior. I didn't get attached to people, and never shared emotions with others. However, since I found true love, and had my son, I've noticed that level of self protection for me is gone. I have noticed that instead of giving in to people, I'm telling them why I can't. I think some of them have been hurt by the fact that I won't go there because they genuinely wanted another shot, but others have just gotten upset that they won't be able to score and they disappeared.
This brings me back to my eternal question: Can men and women honestly be just friends? Purely platonic, no strings attached and no benefits? I begin to doubt this more and more with every passing day. There are a few exceptions (Josh, this means you.) but those exceptions are rare. I honestly miss the old days when I could just be friends with people, without the added expectation of meaningless hookups. I am still in love, though not technically in a relationship. I may be single, but my heart is still spoken for. I will not be hooking up with anyone.
I am so annoyed right now. I don't understand why everyone seems to want me (I didn't mean that as conceitedly as it sounded). I am not that great of a catch. Seriously, I'm not.
