A Letter to a Lost Love

I want you to know I still love you. I don't hate you for what you've done, though I know I should. I just don't understand how you could do this to me. You promised you never would, and I believed you. Maybe that was my first mistake. I let my guard down and believed in someone.

What did I do to deserve to be treated this way? You, of all people, should know how badly this hurts. I honestly feel like I'm falling apart right now. It drives me crazy, the thoughts rushing through my head. Thinking over everything that has happened and wondering where we went so wrong.

I am fine during the day, for the most part. I'm okay if I'm anywhere but in our room. Well, I guess now it's just my room. As soon as I walk in there I get the worst pain in my heart. I honestly feel it breaking. I was always told that a breaking heart was a metaphor for the pain you feel, but it isn't. With every passing moment that you aren't here, it breaks more. Soon there will be nothing left.

Why is it that the one being left is always the last to know? I honestly believed we were okay. I took you for your word. You swore to me you were going to be true, but you weren't. How am I ever going to trust again? You know how hard it was for me to trust you, not because you deserved it, but because I'd had my trust abused so many times before. I laid it all on the line to you, my heart most of all.

So where do I go from here? How do I move on? Can you tell me that? Can you tell me how I am supposed to just forget about our future together, and everything we had planned? Can you tell me how to stop the pain and the tears I cry every night?

I still don't know what happened. I don't know if you honestly fell out of love with me, or if you just got scared. I thought we were so happy. You kept telling me you wanted to marry me, and get our house, be a family with our son, and try for a daughter. Within a flash, really, it was all gone. You don't know the pain I felt when you told me you loved me, you just weren't in love with me anymore. Those words cut like a knife.

I stood by you when you needed me, and even when you didn't. I was so certain that you were my soul mate. I still feel that, deep down. I cannot rationalize in my mind what happened.

I just want you to know that I still love you, and I always will. I hope you find happiness, since obviously it wasn't with me and our son.

With all my undying love,

Your Soul Mate


"It's just weird."
"What is?"
"To be the only person alive who knows it isn't over."