Ugh... I am Beginning to Loathe the Internet

Well, let me be the first to say, I love the internet. Well, actually, it's kinda more like a love/hate relationship. I love the internet, but I HATE THE INTERNET!

I still remember when the internet was new. I couldn't wait to get home from school and check my e-mail, get on AOL and chat with friends, get the latest gossip from the web. Man, it was the kewlest thing EVER! Like, totally, okay? I still find myself online multiple times per day (more than I would really like to admit to) checking to see if I have any new mail, if anyone has broken up or hooked up, or whatever the kids are calling it today. I even check my MYSPACE and MYYEARBOOK sites, just to see if I was lucky enough to have anyone send me a quick shout out, just to see if I'm still alive.

It's like a natural high when you get online and it tells you that someone out there in the cyber world has thought enough of you to send you a message. Wow. Me? Really? Online, I'm Miss Popularity, something I NEVER was in school. This online craze is just that though, a craze. It is literally driving me crazy.

With our world turning more and more technology driven, we find ourselves using these technologies more and more, making us want instant gratification. Have you ever noticed that, if you are O-L-D like me, the kids nowadays just don't seem to communicate the way we used to? I mean, does anyone ever take the time to write notes in school instead of take notes? I don't mean txt'ing, because we all know TEENS TXT, but good old fashioned pen and paper notes. I don't see many of those anymore.

And who needs actual conversation with your mate? If you both have a computer you can just IM each other. Why would I want to waste my time talking when I can just IM the person across the room, and still be carrying on five other conversations at the same time? Seriously. Why?

That is where the loathing begins. I find that no one really takes the time to have a conversation anymore, because everyone is so used to getting these short bits of information passed back and forth so quickly. My significant other and I rarely talk anymore, even though we live together. Sure, we ask "Can you make me something to eat?" or "Can you turn the light off when you leave? Oh, and don't forget to close the door so the dogs don't come in here while I'm on the net." I can't remember the last time we had a real, sit down, heart to heart conversation. He claims it's because we see each other every day, and therefore there is really nothing for us to talk about anymore.

This is where the loathing spreads. He talks to a bunch of people online. Well, let me correct that, not just people, but females. Do I think he would ever cheat on me? No. He says he loves me, and I guess I believe him. I mean, he hasn't actually given me a reason not to. But how can he talk to all the other girls 24/7, but can barely speak more than 2 sentences at a time to me? If he isn't online talking to them, he is on the phone with them, or txt msg'ing them. I know I shouldn't be jealous if I trust him, but I can't help it. It feels like he is cheating, even though he technically isn't. He is sharing a part of him with other women that only I used to get, and now I get nothing at all of that part of him.

I'm not sure what to think. Maybe we should split up, or maybe I should give him a dose of his own medicine. I just can't rationalize this in my mind, and yet he thinks there is nothing wrong with it and that I am just being a BITCH. (Wait a minute, he hasn't actually said it in those exact words. He has kinda implied it on more than one occasion, but he hasn't actually said it.)

I miss the days when people only got online to check e-mail, stock quotes, news and gossip. I miss when our lives weren't so damn technology driven. I've gotten to the point now where I absolutely loathe my cell phone. I refuse to answer the darn thing half the time. I'm tired of never having a moment truly to myself, always being at someone's beckon call. It is now that I realize just how old I am. I miss the good old days. I now understand what my parents meant when they talked about "the good ole days."

I would give anything to go back to 1994! Man, that was the life!